“Don’t you worry, your time will come.” “Oh, it just hasn’t happened for you yet.” “It’ll happen when you least expect it, you’ll see.” There are many variations of this phrase that we all know too well. So, whether we are in our 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, or 60s, how do we deal with goals, states of being, or desires that seem so out of our control?
While I don’t have all of the answers, what I’ve discovered is this: we must commit to the quest of happiness in our current state of being. Too often we get caught up in constant and tiresome efforts to find eventual happiness. Someday this, one day that. I recently chatted with my dearest and closet friend about the “single life” dilemma. “You’ll find your person someday.” “Once you stop looking, they’ll be right in front of you.” While I don’t entirely disagree with those theories, we cannot always be living in a state of “somedays.” This. THIS is the challenge. A struggle that I, too, face. While we work toward our dreams, what are we doing to find joy right NOW? How are we being present with our current selves?
Here is what it comes down to: Awareness and presence. There is only one way to stop the worry, to stop the uneasiness, to stop the pain. The reality is that we really do not have a clue what will happen. You might not find your person for a very long time. Or, you may grow and change and find out you’d rather travel and see the world. OR, you might find someone in three years who opens doors to things that were once unimaginable. Bottom line? Forget all of that. Make small decisions right NOW that bring you joy. The rest will come when it is ready. I just finished watching 30 minutes worth of live videos of Mariah Carey on You Tube. Does this correlate directly to my dream career? Not at all. However, it makes me smile. It brings me joy, and it is a choice that I make for myself. So for now? Book a vacation. Write a short film. Watch your favorite movie. Try a new activity, join a new group that meets Mondays at 7:30. Go on a date, take a day off, buy a new piece of artwork. Light a candle. After all, these things are in our control. And in turn, we’ve chosen joy when we commit to these things.
As you approach this holiday season, try eliminating your state of worry. Don’t be happy “eventually.” Choose positivity, and more importantly, SPREAD IT. Talk to your cousin that you’ve lost touch with, inspire your nephew. Show your grandmother pictures from your year. Go to a work Christmas party. Tell someone a joke. Read a silly magazine. Share your passion, and as Shania Twain would say lately, live right NOW. Give a hungry person 5 dollars, binge-watch your favorite show, or try a new recipe. These decisions make us smile. So….what will you commit to?